The Comforting Lie
by Diamondinsanity
Summary: Because I don't love her. I'm not ready for anyone not even myself to know that I do. It's the one lie I can never forget the comforting lie.
1. Drusilla

Title: Comforting Lie  
Disclaimers: I don't own Angel or Dru. pout Imagine what I'd do with them if I did...  
Rating: PG-13 (implied)  
Pairing: Angel/Dru (as always)  
Time: 2nd Season around Lie to Me  
Summary: The only ones deceived are the ones who deceive.  
A/N: Okay, so this started out as a drabble from Dru's perspective and then turned into two- one from Dru's perspective and one from Angel's. And I loved them both, so tada! 2 drabbles for the price of one! (Both are POVs)  
A/N 2: This was for BtvsatsLove's drabble challenge. The prompt was deception.

* * *

Lips dance across my skin- burning- burning a path of lies all over. Not real: none of it is real. But it doesn't matter- can't matter. All about a taste- a need, that and burning baby fish. None can know- understand- comprehend. Feverish kisses in a room masked by another's love. Doesn't mean a thing. Everything is lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies.

He says he comes here to feel- that his little slayer can't make him feel any more. Liar. She covers him, makes him feel like the human he'll never be. Liar. She lies to his soul. The repressed daddy lies to her- his destiny- his hell. Tells her he's reading. Oh, yes. Fingers are the eyes, bare skin the words. Reading reading reading where no one knows where we are. Always been this way. Even before the Angelbeast. Grandmum would be cross- my Willy jealous. Everything is better off hidden in the dark.

Fingers creep up to forbidden places. Spikey doesn't know the truth. He thinks I'm sleeping- oh, yes- with daddy buried deep inside me. What is obvious, he doesn't want to see. My boy wants to be lied to. He doesn't want to see where my lips have been. He's too full of the slayer- makes him blind. She makes him forget all about his princess. Instead I must find attention else where.

Daddy always wants to lie- imprisoned or not- wants to be in control- be a lie. Yells, screams, tells me to leave, but his bites, nibbles, lips, thrusts cry out 'Don't leave! Make me forget!' He can't stand all the dark spots inside, so he uses the darkest stain to blot out the rest. Doesn't see that the lies are everywhere- inside and out.

Whispered names, promises, secrets dance throughout the air before flying off into the burning night. Doesn't mean a thing- never did. That's the lie we feed to the listeners- the watchers. The greatest deception always lies in the mind.


	2. Angel

Title: Comforting Lie  
Disclaimers: I don't own Angel or Dru. pout Imagine what I'd do with them if I did...  
Rating: PG-13 (implied)  
Pairing: Angel/Dru (as always)  
Time: 2nd Season around Lie to Me  
Summary: The only ones deceived are the ones who deceive.  
A/N: Okay, so this started out as a drabble from Dru's perspective and then turned into two- one from Dru's perspective and one from Angel's. And I loved them both, so tada! 2 drabbles for the price of one! (Both are POVs)  
A/N 2: This was for BtvsatsLove's drabble challenge. The prompt was deception.

* * *

I can't believe I lied to Buffy again. It's not something I planned. Reading. I told her that I was going to stay in and catch up on my reading. Instead I'm here- in the arms of my not only evil but also insane childe- with the one person, no, creature that I know will always understand me- no matter how much I don't want her to. The worst part is that we say we love another. I love Buffy, I do, and Dru loves Spike. Still, every night we end up here- arms and legs intertwined, her tongue dancing in my ear, nibbling on anything she can get her teeth onto.

It's a comforting lie. A hiding place I guess you could say. With Drusilla in my arms, I can't hear the screams of all the hundreds I've killed- no more faces haunting my dreams. Instead the only face that haunts me is hers- Dru's. It's like a drug now. This is my way of making up to her all that I have done. And in exchange she helps me feel less guilty. At least that's how it was in the beginning. Now all I can feel is guilt for what I'm doing to Buffy. I can't do this any more, and yet I do it every night until everything is dark and black- until I wake up from the abyss and realize that Dru is no longer in my arms, shaking- weaker than I've ever seen.

I don't even know who I'm lying to any more: Buffy or myself. Part of me wants to always be here wrapped around Dru, our sire-childe bond vibrating through us as we cum- our bodies still clinging together with wanton need. But another part of me- my souled half wants to be with Buffy, married with children.

But that's the cruelest lie of them all. I can't lie to myself. I can never have Buffy- not all of her. I can give her the night but I can't deceive her into thinking that I can give her the type of life she needs. I can't. The only one I can give everything to is Dru. She accepts it all willingly.

Still, as I hold her in my arms, sweat keeping us locked together as one, human-like panting resounding through the air, all I can think is that above all else Dru is my favorite deception. She pretends to be the one seducing me, but we both know better. There is no deception- no seduction. It's instinct- obsession- a bond long ago forged. She's the one thing that will always turn my life into a lie. Because I don't love her. I'm not ready for anyone- not even myself- to know that I do. It's the one lie I can never forget- the comforting lie.


End file.
